Sutapa Sikdar on Irrfan's death: The only grudge I have against him is he spoiled me for life

Sutapa Sikdar on Irrfan's death: The only grudge I have against him is he spoiled me for life

The entire nation mourned when Irrfan breathed his last on April 29. Heartbroken fans and celebrities took to social media to remember the actor and recounted their priceless memories with him.

Irrfan is survived by his wife Sutapa Sikdar and two sons, Babil and Ayaan. Sutapa released a statement this morning, thanking Irrfan's fans and doctors for their support.

She wrote, "How can I write this as a family statement when the whole world is taking it as a personal loss? How can I begin to feel alone when millions are grieving with us at the moment? I want to assure everyone that this is not a loss, it is a gain. It’s a gain of the things he taught us, and now we shall finally begin to truly implement it and evolve. Yet I want to try to fill in the things that people don’t already know."

She added, "It’s unbelievable for us but I would put it in Irrfan’s words, "it's magical" whether he is there or not there, and that’s what he loved, he never loved one-dimensional reality. The only thing I have a grudge against him is; he has spoiled me for life. His strive for perfection doesn't let me settle for ordinary in anything. There was a rhythm which he always saw in everything, even in cacophony and chaos, so I have learnt to sing and dance to the music of that rhythm, even with my tone-deaf voice and two left feet."

Irrfan was diagnosed with neuroendocrine tumour in 2018. Talking about how he approached this rare disaese, Sutapa wrote, "Funnily, our life was a masterclass in acting, so when the dramatic entry of the "uninvited guests" happened, I had by then learnt, to see a harmony in the cacophony. The doctor’s reports were like scripts which I wanted to perfect, so I never miss any detail that he sought for in his performance."

Thanking the doctors, who helped Irrfan in his battle with the disease, Sutapa wrote, "We met some amazing people in this journey and the list is endless, but there are some whom I have to mention, our oncologist Dr Nitesh Rohtogi (Max hospital Saket) who held our hand in the beginning, Dr Dan Krell (UK), Dr Shidravi (UK), my heartbeat and my lantern in the dark Dr Sevanti Limaye (Kokilaben hospital). It's difficult to explain what a wondrous, beautiful, overwhelming, painful and exciting journey this has been. I find this 2 and 1/2 years to have been an interlude, which had it’s own beginning, middle and culmination with Irrfan helming the role of the orchestra conductor, separate from the 35 years of our companionship, ours was not a marriage, it was a union."

The statement further read, "I see my little family, in a boat, with both my sons Babil and Ayaan, paddling it forward, with Irrfan guiding them "wahan nahi, yahan se modo" but since life is not cinema and there are no retakes, I sincerely wish my children sail this boat safely with their father’s guidance in mind and rockabye through the storm."

Irrfan's sons Babil and Ayaan revealed the one lesson that their father taught them. "I asked my children, if possible, they could sum up a lesson taught by their father that has been important to them:

Babil: 'Learn to surrender to the dance of uncertainty and trust your faith in the universe.'

Ayaan: 'Learn to control your mind and to not let it control you.'"

Sutapa concluded saying, "Tears will flow as we will plant a raat ki rani tree, his favourite, to the place where you have put him to rest after a victorious journey. It takes time but it will bloom and the fragrance will spread and touch all the souls whom I won’t call them fans but family for years to come."

The statement was also posted on Irrfan's official Twitter handle. The caption read, "From Sutapa, Babil and Ayaan."